Being Perfect is Bad for Your Health

Tina Fey said, being perfect is boring. I say perfection is not only a myth, it's annoying and gets in the way of happiness. This month I am going to talk about the pitfalls of being perfect, striving for perfection and expecting things to be perfect.

Honestly it's looking pretty good that perfection is bad for your health.
The myth busting began with my dad telling us kids done is better than perfect. He said it mostly to my brother who would labor over the details and forget the big picture. I could see what my dad was doing though. He was bringing my brother out of his self-induced hypnosis caused by his perfectionism and teaching him to pay attention to both perspectives as both are important. Needless to say my brother's perfectionism caused a great deal of stress for him and anyone who worked with him.
Besides, what we think is perfect seriously leans toward being an opinion; and possibly an illusion. We can even call it a moving target. Anyone who hooks their wagon to a moving target will get dragged all over tarnation and will never ever win the perfection prize. That sounds painful on so many levels.
Opinions get a bad rap and nobody wants an unsolicited one and that is how I feel about being perfect, and expecting things to be perfect. Those who describe something as perfect are exaggerating their affection for the object of their desire and as love is in the eye of the beholder, so is "perfect". My own husband would say I was perfect as a term of endearment. I understand he wants me to know he loves and appreciates me, but to be put to the standard of perfect (which there is no standard) is not love, but an expectation. What happens when I'm not perfect? Will he still love me? Of course he will, but he'll not be able to call me perfect any longer and that changes things. I rather be loved just because, and not because I'm perfect.
Inserting perfection affects our ability to perform.
We already have a lot on our minds and striving for perfection will sabotage our passion, creative process and give us heartburn. Who wants to play when we're not allowed to make mistakes? Some of those mistakes are funny, open our eyes to different ways of doing things (a happy mistake) and teach us about how the world works. If we can't be messy then we can't experiment with our inspirations. Being perfect is too confining for a proper creative flow.
Then there is the pain of scrutiny by others who may deem our perfection not so perfect. We all need validation and a pat on the head but preconceived notions of perfection are the landmines that destroy us before we even have a chance. They leave us unnecessarily vulnerable to the perfection meter. Which by the way is totally made up. A construct for the process of elimination based on criteria invented by the winners, or the loudest and most intimidating (bullies).
Looking back at your last accomplishment, what gave you the most pleasure? Doing the work or looking at a finished project? Being a perfectionist can rob you of the joy of creating something because you have judged it instead of let it be what it was meant to be, your teacher and expression of your light. We are born to create for the sake of creating. It is in how we create that we learn the most about ourselves and our experiences.
All of this dismantling of perfection is not to say hey, don't bother doing your best, cause you'll never hit that high. I'm saying let go of being perfect, let go of analysis paralysis, let go of other people's opinion and learn to love the journey. Perfect is in the eye of the beholder and for your own sake, love your work, even if it's not perfect. To help you resist the traps of perfection, light a Coventry Creations candle. I use the Stability Blessed Herbal candle when I'm wrestling with self-doubt or can't stop comparing myself to others. When I'm overcome with analysis paralysis I light the Truth and Justice Blessed Herbal candle to help me see my path more clearly. Finally if my creative juices have just turned to sludge, I light the Ganesha World candle and ask him to remove the obstacles to my inspiration. There is always a way through with Coventry Creations Candles and some good old fashioned self-love.